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Home >>Blog >>Love >>How Long Is Too Long Without Sex in a Relationship?
How Long Is Too Long Without Sex in a Relationship?

Published 14/06/2023 by Joanne Jones

How Long Is Too Long Without Sex in a Relationship?

Research suggests that the ideal frequency of sexual activity in a relationship is subjective and depends on many outside factors such as age, health, and stress levels.

However, studies have found that couples who engage in regular sexual activity report higher happiness, satisfaction, and intimacy levels. Long periods of abstinence from sexual activity can often lead to feelings of neglect, frustration, and resentment, potentially undermining the relationship's stability and longevity.

According to several relationship experts, a reasonable timeframe for going without sex in a relationship is one to two weeks. After this period, couples may need to have a conversation about their sexual needs, desires, and any potential barriers that may be hindering sexual intimacy.

It is also essential to note that sexual intimacy is not limited to intercourse but encompasses various sexual activities that partners can explore together. Couples with physical limitations or medical conditions that affect their sexual function can still engage in sexual activity and benefit from the emotional and physical connection it provides.

How Long Is Too Long Without Sex in a Relationship?

Sexual intimacy is an integral aspect of most romantic relationships. However, sometimes couples may face challenges in maintaining a regular sexual routine due to various reasons such as physical distance, busy work schedules, health problems, and emotional disconnect.

The question of how long is too long without sex in a relationship is pertinent, and the answer varies depending on various factors such as age, health, and the nature of the relationship. Younger couples tend to have more sex than older couples, and the frequency may also decline with the duration of the relationship.

Additionally, individuals with chronic illnesses or disabilities may experience difficulties in sexual performance and may need to adjust their sexual routine. Alternatively, some couples may prioritize emotional intimacy over sexual intimacy, and although they may not have sex as frequently as other couples, they may still enjoy a fulfilling love life.

Everyone has their sexual desires and preferences, and therefore, what is considered too long without sex may vary. Communication and openness are key factors in any relationship, and partners should be willing to discuss their sexual needs and work together to find solutions that work for both.

How Often Should Married Couples Have Sex?

There is no steadfast rule or formula for determining the frequency at which married couples should engage in sexual activity.

Numerous independent studies have shown that the frequency of sexual intercourse varies widely among married couples, with some having sex as frequently as several times a week while others may only engage in sexual activity once every few months.

It is important to note that a fulfilling and satisfying sexual relationship encompasses more than just the frequency of sex.

Outside factors such as stress, financial worries, and relationship issues can also impact the frequency of sex. Married people having trouble in their sexual relationship should seek advice from a healthcare professional or therapist to help address any underlying issues.

According to various studies, a sexless marriage can damage one's emotional well-being. When a couple is not engaging in sexual activity regularly, it can lead to feelings of anxiety and depression.

These negative emotions are often a result of the lack of physical intimacy, which is essential in maintaining a healthy and happy relationship.

What Happens When You Don't Have Sex for a Long Time?

One of the most immediate effects of not having sex is decreased sexual desire. Over time, the lack of sexual activity can reduce libido, making it even more difficult to become aroused and interested in sex.

A sexless relationship can lead to feelings of frustration, anxiety, and even depression.

Additionally, studies have shown that sex has many health benefits, both physical and mental. Regular sex can lower blood pressure, reduce stress, and improve immune function. It can also produce endorphins – the feel-good hormones that combat stress and anxiety.

When you don't have sex for an extended period, you may also experience physical changes in your body. For example, women may experience vaginal dryness and discomfort during sexual activity, while men may experience erectile dysfunction and decreased testosterone levels.

Long-term abstinence from sex can have social and emotional consequences. People who abstain from sex may feel more socially isolated and disconnected, leading to insecurity and depression.

Reasons You May Not Be Having Sex

While sex is essential to a healthy and fulfilling romantic relationship, not all couples may have an active sex life.

There can be several reasons why someone may not be having sex, which can range from physical, emotional, or psychological factors.


Stress is one of the significant reasons individuals refrain from sexual intimacy. It disrupts hormone levels, increases anxiety and depression, and causes fatigue, making having sex seem less appealing to people.

The levels of cortisol in your body, also known as the stress hormone, increase during stressful situations leading to decreased levels of sex hormones such as testosterone, oestrogen, and progesterone.

Furthermore, stress has been linked to decreased libido because it suppresses the release of dopamine and serotonin, two chemicals responsible for regulating mood and desire.

According to a published article in the Journal of Sexual Medicine, stress also causes individuals to experience decreased sexual satisfaction. It revealed that men and women with high-stress levels were less likely to rate their sexual experiences as enjoyable than those with lower stress levels.

Stress can also lead to relationship problems which may affect sexual intimacy. When stressed, individuals may become irritable, withdrawn, and have difficulty communicating, leading to increased conflict with their partners. This may cause a lack of emotional connection and intimacy, leading to a decrease in sexual desire.

Medication Affecting Mojo

The most common reason individuals may not be having sex is due to the impact of medication on their libido. Several prescription medicines have been identified as potentially affecting one's sexual desire and performance.

The underlying mechanisms by which these medications impact sexual function can vary. Some drugs work by altering chemicals in the brain that regulate sexual desire and arousal. Others can disrupt the normal functioning of the cardiovascular system, leading to reduced blood flow to the genital area.

Not all individuals may be affected similarly by medication-induced sexual dysfunction. Symptoms can vary depending on a range of factors, including the drug dosage, the length of treatment, and the individual's overall health.

Very often, simple lifestyle changes, such as regular exercise and a healthy, balanced diet, may also help improve your sexual health and well-being.

Testosterone Deficient

Several factors can lead to testosterone deficiency, which, in turn, can adversely affect a man's ability to engage in sexual activity.

One significant factor that can lead to testosterone deficiency is age. As men age, their natural testosterone production tends to decline, leading to lower levels of this essential hormone. This decrease in testosterone can result in a range of symptoms, including reduced sex drive, erectile dysfunction, and other sexual function issues.

In addition to age, several other factors can lead to testosterone deficiency. These may include certain medical conditions like diabetes, obesity, and chronic kidney or liver disease. Lifestyle factors like stress, and inadequate sleep, can also contribute to low testosterone levels.

Testosterone is crucial for the development and maintenance of male sexual organs, as well as a range of other bodily functions. It plays a fundamental role in sperm production, sexual arousal, and the development of secondary sexual characteristics.

A qualified healthcare professional can perform tests and provide appropriate treatment options to help you maintain healthy testosterone levels and enjoy a fulfilling sex life.


There are various reasons why one may lack sexual desire due to feeling tired. Fatigue is known to disrupt hormonal balance, which can lead to decreased libido. As a result, individuals who are experiencing chronic exhaustion are more likely to be in a sexless relationship.

Additionally, feeling constantly mentally and physically drained can reduce the levels of sex hormones such as testosterone in both men and women, causing a negative impact on sexual function.

People who lead busy lifestyles or have demanding jobs may lack time to engage in sexual activity due to feeling drained and overwhelmed with work-related stress. This can lead to feelings of disinterest and low motivation towards sexual activity.

Lack of sleep is often linked to low libido, as inadequate sleep can disrupt the body's circadian rhythm and decrease the release of hormones essential to sexual function. Studies have clearly indicated that individuals who get less sleep report lower sex drives than those who get sufficient rest.

How to Build Your Sex Frequency?

Building healthy and enjoyable sexual intimacy requires effort and commitment from both partners. To increase sex frequency, it is essential to create a comfortable and relaxed environment, to communicate openly and honestly about your sexual needs and desires. Below are some specific actions to help you and your partner build a stronger, more frequent sexual relationship.

  1. Schedule dedicated time for sex: Planning sexual encounters can help ensure that you and your partner prioritize intimacy. Making a "date" out of it can be helpful, setting aside an evening or weekend afternoon for sexual activity.
  2. Engage in non-sexual intimacy: Building emotional and physical intimacy outside the bedroom can help establish a more frequent and enjoyable sexual relationship. This includes cuddling, hugging, kissing, and holding hands.
  3. Prioritize self-care: Taking care of oneself physically and mentally can also positively impact sexual frequency and enjoyment. Exercise, meditation, and relaxation can reduce stress and make partners feel more comfortable and confident in the bedroom.
  4. Experiment with different techniques and positions: Exploring other sexual techniques and positions can help keep things fresh and exciting in the bedroom. Communication is key when trying new things together.
  5. Seek outside help: If you're experiencing difficulties with sexual frequency, seeking outside help from a therapist or psychic counsellor can be beneficial. These professionals can offer guidance and support to help improve communication, address underlying issues, and enhance intimacy.

Love Readings

A love reading by a psychic is a type of spiritual consultation whereby a person seeks guidance and insight into their love life.

The psychic connects with the spiritual realm and channels information about the individual's past, present, and future relationships, providing insight and clarity that may be difficult to obtain through traditional means.

There are various reasons why people seek love readings over the phone. One common reason is convenience. With the availability of technology, people can easily connect with a psychic over the phone from the comfort of their homes.

During a love reading, the psychic may use tarot cards, crystal balls, or aura readings to gather information about the person and their relationship. They can guide you on matters such as love compatibility, finding the right partner, or navigating problems within a current relationship.

One of the amazing benefits of a love reading by a psychic is the ability to gain clarity and perspective on one's love life. People often seek out these readings when they feel confused or unsure about their relationships and need guidance to make their best decisions.

Furthermore, love readings can also help people understand their relationship patterns and behaviours, allowing them to break negative cycles and attract healthier and more fulfilling partnerships.

Psychics can provide insight into the underlying energies and emotions surrounding a person's love life, enabling them to change their outlook and approach to relationships positively.


When You Go Too Long Without Sex?

When an individual abstains from sexual activity for an extended period, it can have various effects on their physical and mental health.

Research has shown that sexless relationships can lead to decreased libido and sexual arousal, weakened genital muscles, and decreased sexual pleasure. It can also lead to increased stress, trust issues and depression due to the lack of intimacy and emotional connection with sexual activity.

Can Lack of Sex Ruin a Relationship?

Lack of sex is very common in many relationships, and it can significantly impact the emotional and physical well-being of both partners.

While sexual desire can vary naturally over time, consistently avoiding sex can lead to feelings of neglect, rejection, and frustration, which can ultimately erode the bond of a relationship.

Research suggests that sexual satisfaction is a key component of marital and romantic happiness, with couples with frequent and enjoyable sex reporting higher levels of relationship satisfaction and intimacy.

Couples who don't engage in regular sexual activity risk drifting apart, as the physical connection between partners is an essential aspect of the emotional bond that underpins any healthy relationship.

Insecurity and a loss of self-confidence often result from a lack of sexual intimacy, particularly in long-term relationships where physical attraction and desire change over time.

Partners may question their desirability or attractiveness if they perceive their significant other as consistently disinterested in them sexually. This can lead to emotional distance and a loss of connection, ultimately leading to a breakdown in trust and communication.

How Long Is Considered a Dry Spell in a Relationship?

While the duration of a dry spell can vary widely depending on individual circumstances, many experts suggest that for average couples, any period of 6 months or longer without regular intimacy or connection could reasonably be considered a dry spell in a relationship.

It is essential to remember that there is no hard and fast rule, and different couples may have different expectations around what defines a significant length of time without intimacy.

What Are the Signs of a Lack of Sex?

Lack of sex can have various signs and symptoms, both physical and emotional. One of the most evident physical symptoms of lack of sex is a reduced libido or sex drive. Individuals with a lack of sexual activity may experience a decrease in sexual desire and may not initiate or respond to sexual advances.

When having trouble achieving orgasm or a decline in sexual satisfaction is another sign of a lack of sex. In women, a lack of sexual activity can often lead to discomfort during sex. The discomfort, in turn, can cause sex to feel unpleasant, ultimately leading to avoiding sex altogether.

Mentally, a lack of sex can cause stress, anxiety, and depression. Regular sexual activity releases endorphins, which can help reduce stress and promote feelings of well-being.

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