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Home >>Blog >>Love >>Nice Guy Syndrome Explained
Nice Guy Syndrome Explained

Published 07/07/2024 by Joanne Jones

Nice Guy Syndrome Signs and How to Get Rid of It

Many men worldwide suffer from nice guy syndrome. This condition refers to men who act nice, but behind this niceness is an ulterior motive, such as trying to court the other person romantically and in a sexual relationship.

We are not saying you shouldn't be nice to people you are trying to impress. However, when you pretend to be nice only to make them feel attracted to you, then that's not right. It is also believed that sometimes it is not in the person's control, and they do these nice things and expect the other person to like them for it.

Many telltale signs show if a person has nice guy syndrome. Not everyone will show all these signs, but having several of the following signs makes it clear that the person may have a sense of entitlement when in search of a romantic partner.

Here are some of the signs:

  • They offer help constantly.
  • They have difficulty with establishing personal boundaries.
  • They need validation all the time.
  • They try to please everyone.
  • They are always available for everyone.
  • They get passive-aggressive.
  • They get angry at rejections.
  • .They have had several sexual partners.
  • They have feelings of inadequacy.

Some people live with the nice guy syndrome their entire lives. However, it isn't something that you have to constantly live with. You can overcome the nice guy syndrome with the willpower and urge for self-improvement.

  • Understand that you need to change.
  • Reflect on yourself and show willingness to change.
  • Try to develop and nurture self-esteem in yourself.
  • Give importance to self-respect.
  • Set boundaries and make people respect your boundaries.
  • Focus on your personal goals and your personal growth.
  • Learn to express yourself respectfully to everyone without fearing anything.

What Is Nice Guy Syndrome?

If a guy seems to be acting very nicely, politely, and decently, and they think that their nice behaviour will help them impress and court women, then this is called Nice Guy Syndrome.

They are not actually bad people who are pretending to be nice. They might be nice, but the thought in their heads that their nice behaviour will make them attractive to girls results in this unacceptable behaviour.

Some of the men exhibiting this type of behaviour might get angry if women reject them because they have a sense of entitlement and feel that there is no reason to deny someone like them who is so nice.

What Causes Nice Guy Syndrome?

There are many causes of the nice guy syndrome. However, the main reason is that the person with this common trait cannot handle rejection, so they are always looking to please others by being nice. They think that because they are friendly, they should be able to get validation from everyone.

The Common Signs of Nice Guy Syndrome

Let's examine some of the common signs of nice guy syndrome. If you or anyone you know shows these signs, consider it a warning sign that you are about to start a romantic relationship that may have ongoing unwanted issues.

You Are a People Pleaser

You are a people pleaser if you habitually say 'yes' to other people's requests, even if it means sacrificing your time, energy, and resources. Helping others and putting your needs aside is what we sometimes must do. After all, we are social beings. However, if you're a people pleaser in this way, you could easily burn yourself out and be resentful.

People-pleasing can also make it tough to cultivate and sustain healthy relationships. You might attract people who expect a lot from you and become a doormat for others who use your niceness to an end.

Naturally, constant self-sacrifice can also trigger negative self-talk and feelings of low self-worth.

Once you start to break this cycle of people-pleasing, it's critical that you set boundaries and make your priorities known. It can be uncomfortable at first, but taking care of yourself and your relationships is necessary.

Learning to say 'no' and prioritising self-care, for example, is critical to establishing and maintaining healthy boundaries.

You Idealise Love

Romanticising love creates unrealistic expectations for love.

Many of those stuck in the cycle of victimisation harbour fairytale fantasies about how relationships should work, fuelling disdain and resentment when reality sinks in. Love is supposed to be easy.

Relationships are hard work; even the happiest couples argue with each other now and again, and your partner has their own needs, wants, and desires that can't always be satisfied with yours. It's unrealistic to expect your partner to be your be-all and end-all.

Another problem with love idealisation is that it can cause bad communication.

If you think that love should be effortless and conflict-free, then you might be reluctant to bring up problems or issues that you have with your partner, which can lead to things building up beyond the point of repair. In other words, don't let love blind you to things you need to discuss.

You've Been Called "Clingy" or "Needy"

You want to feel important, and everyone likes you. You are always needy. Most of your needs are for validation, intimacy, and friendship, and all these needs trump the need for self-respect, which is why you have very low self-respect and even lower self-esteem.

You Always Bring Gifts

Gifting is not bad, but it connects to our first point of pleasing people. Don't overdo it.

If you are visiting someone for the first time or attending an event, you can give a gift, but not every time you visit someone’s home.

Your guests will feel that you expect something in return which will make your guests feel you have high expectations from them, and your guests will feel the pressure that the next time they come to your house, they should give you a gift too.

You Resort to Passive-Aggressive Comments

Such people are also known for passing passive-aggressive comments that hint at sarcasm and rudeness. These comments usually come when they feel rejected, even after they have been overly nice.

However, they can also resort to such comments even without being rejected. Some examples include backhand compliments, saying things like why you are so upset, giving the other person a silent treatment, saying I was only kidding, and many others.

How to Overcome Nice Guy Syndrome?

First, a person needs to accept that their behaviour is not normal in any intimate relationship. This can be challenging to accept as it has most likely become a way of life.

To overcome these undesirable traits, they need to develop strong self-esteem and understand that their self-respect is as essential as the other person's respect. They must also understand that they can't please everyone, so they must stop being people pleasers.

One of the most important things they can do is set their own personal boundaries; if anyone disrespects your boundaries, you need to stand up to them.

Are You Dating Someone With Nice Guy Syndrome?

We have already talked about the signs of nice guy syndrome. If you see several of those signs in your partner, then it's time to discuss them because it can be a problem in a long-term relationship.

For some time, it might feel good that your partner agrees with everything you say; however, in the long run, you will start to feel annoyed by it.

Over time, it will also affect them. It will start building a feeling of resentment in them, and maybe when they try to break their nice guy syndrome, they will feel abused and disrespected.

A good and successful relationship always needs two people with their own sets of thoughts who love and respect each other. So, to avoid falling into the spiral of a toxic relationship, there needs to be honest discussions to plan a road map for your future relationship.

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FAQs

How Do You Break the Nice Guy Syndrome?

You can break this unsavoury behaviour by being self-aware and having great determination and willpower to understand how your actions affect others. The only option is to overcome your weaknesses.

What Is the Nice Guy Paradox?

The nice guy paradox refers to the perception that nice guys are usually less successful in romantic relationships than other men. You might have heard the phrase that nice guys finish last. This phrase is also an example of the nice guy paradox.

How Do You Know If You Have Nice Guy Syndrome?

It is very difficult for a person to accept and understand that their behaviour is not normal and does not lead to a happy relationship in which both partners have a choice in the decisions that are made in their relationship.

Once this is understood, there are various self-help groups and online forums to get the support needed to make real changes in their behaviour.

Trusted Psychics professional psychics can help you gain clarity and direction in your love life. Contact Trusted Psychic today and speak to excellent live psychic readers by phone or live messenger service.

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